This is dedicated to my friend Sarah for her birthday. No, not Zachary’s Sarah. A different one. Keep up, will ya? Oh, I write all of my music to a song on a loop and to one person. The person is obviously Sarah for her birthday and the song is Elvis Presley’s ‘Suspicious Minds”…the only song of his that I absolutely love. Sorry Dad.
I went through the Academy with her husband, Wade, 24 years ago. Life has an amazing way of circling back around. It’s called serendipity. My next post will share about that. It’s good stuff! But, she absolutely loves Phoenix. And anyone who takes a keen, genuine interest in Phoenix will spin my head around any second of any day. She wanted a birthday post. It happened by accident. Again, serendipity….which has been my lifelong word I’ve carried forever from my long since passed mother that she passed onto me.
My new, very expensive,Canon macro lens arrived the other day. I bought it for food photography. I was absolutely going crazy to try it out tonight. Little did I know what trouble lurked. And it was all my fault.
Like an obnoxious child (that I can often be) went tip-toe’ing into the other room and got down on the floor and set my position. Then I woke up Phoenix. *FLASH*!!
Phoenix, moaning with a low growl deep within him at me, calmly said, “You have two options. The first option, you have three seconds to get that out of my face. Your second option, press the button a second time that makes that bright flash go off in my face at 5 o’clock in morning. Choose wisely.”
I stared at him through the camera view finder. Contemplating. For those who know me. If there is a class on Go Against The Grain 101 I’m the first to sign up. Path of most resistance. I pressed the shutter button again. Huge mistake….
Phoenix calmly, “You chose poorly.”
72 pounds of Golden Retriever lurched up and lunged at me. He was not happy. I covered the brand new lens front for dear life with my right hand and ducked. I heard a growl and ZIPPPP off of the top of my head. He stole my ball cap! AGAIN!!
If you’ve followed me that is his grand prize in this lifetime. He loathes my ball caps. I’ve never figured out why to this day despite every dog “psychologist” (friends) input. I do not wear them to upset him. I just like my ball caps and for 10 years I refuse to give them up. Best answer – it’s his way to get me to come out and play with him.
He snatched it, leaped over me and went flying out into the backyard with his prized position. I had to stop and think. Very expensive camera equipment vs ball cap. Ok, camera. So I quickly got the lens cap and secured it on and set the camera down safely on the counter. I wanted my ball cap back.
I went bolting to the open sliding glass door and flipped on the porch light with no consideration for my neighbors. Phoenix was flipping the ball cap up in the air, moaning and growling.
We made eye contact and we sneered and glared at each other. A stare down.
Me quietly, through gritted teeth, “You’re mine….I want my ball cap.”
Phoenix, “I warned you. Bring it.”
I clenched my jaw and through gritted teeth said quietly, “Phoenix, C’MER!”
He placed my ball cap at his feet. Slapped his front paws repeatedly, his hiney in the air, tail waggin’ a mile a minute and then…
I freaked out. I’m always very cognizant to be very quiet. I had, had it now, and through a clenched jaw, I attempted to quietly say, “Phoenix, NO!!!”
Him, quietly, “Oooooo….did that bark tweak you? It’s all fun and games until the dog has the upper hand, isn’t it?”
Him, “How about…??”…..and he BARKED AGAIN!!! I hate him!
I was done with negotiations. I charged. Just what he wanted. It was like a video game in slow motion. Which way will the opponent move? He stayed put until the last second. It would be on ESPN’s highlight reel of best snags ever by a Daddy! I leapt to his left with overwhelming confidence. He dodged to his right at the last second with the ball cap securely in his mouth.
I ate lawn.
After a couple of minutes I gave up and just laid down on the lawn on my back staring up at the…hey, I see stars! No, for real, no smoke from the Rim Fire for at least for a bit!
Phoenix came trotting over and set the ball cap on my chest, “Say you’re sorry.”
Me, “I’m sorry.”
Life of an insomniac…
Happy Birthday, Sarah!