Nov 162013
 

Thor The Dark World

Four of my buddies and I have had a solid pact to attend the superhero movies together the past couple of years. I missed opening night with them on this one so today was a redux with those who were able to join in the fun. And wow was Thor: The Dark World ten times beyond my expectations.

As Hendrix and I stood outside the grand cathedral awaiting the arrival of a couple other of our friends (and our pre-purchased online tickets) he offered a thought. One of the many reasons why I love this guy and our close friendship is his often thought-provoking, different perspective on some of the simplest things we take for granted.

He said, “Ya know Mike, I kind of miss standing in line for tickets sometimes.”

That comment caused me pause and had me drift off in thought as to the effective experience it once was to do just that. You knew the importance of getting early to a new hit movie as there would be a long line. The anticipation of finally arriving at the window to proudly announce to the person behind the glass, “I would like one ticket to….please.” Then, the golden Wonka ticket is slid back towards you. Even as an adult you grasp it with delight from your inner kid to enter the grand event and find your seat for two hours. Absolutely perfect, my friend.

Thor: The Dark World is a follow-up sequel to the smash hit Thor in 2011 intertwined with The Avengers last year. As the lights were dimmed to darkness in the theater, the previews complete and the main event about to unfold. I reached into my jacket pocket to grab my paper bag covered flask of Jim Beam whiskey. I looked around like a sneaky, guilty bum in a room half full of Saturday matinée children and took my traditional two shots.

The rest is always all tossed out because the perfect movie buzz has been achieved. Attending an action adventure film with me is an event in and of itself for those sitting next to me. Hendrix is often cursed with always chooses to be my wingman because he gets a kick out of my reactions. I’m fully engulfed…spiritually, emotionally and physically…on all levels as my brain becomes entirely fixated on the event.

Phoenix is sitting next to me right now yawning, “Is this headed somewhere?”
Me, “Ok, ok, ok…”

We are introduced early on with Odin’s dad, Bor, fighting the evil Dark Elf Malekith and some even more unsavory gangstas, the Kursed. The one thing about superhero movies is that someone always has something bizarre going on with their eyes. True to the cryptic name the Kursed have dark eyes portending bad things. More on that in a few. The bad guys are defeated at great cost except a few escape into frozen exile unbeknownst to anyone. There is always a center power to behold or fear in these movies and this time it is the Aether. If your dentist ever offers it to you I highly recommend you stick with the nitrous oxide. While it holds great power it can destroy the universe and well, that would be a bad thing.

We are transported to present day London on our little planet Earth. I get it, last time was New York and now…London. Or more specifically Greewich is going to be the center of the universe soon? I thought that was on Interstate 5 between Sacramento and Redding in California, USA. I digress. Anyhoo, Watch out Tokyo or Moscow next time!

So, we have Darcy and the celebrity love of my life, Jane (Natalie Portman), investigating a…
Phoenix, “What about Scarlett Johansson and Taylor Swift?”
Me, “Thank you, Mr Throw Me Under The Bus…AGAIN…”
Him, wagging his tail, “Oh, no problem!”

Anyhoo, they are investigating an anomaly which brings about one of numerous scenes in the movie with foreshadowing. Objects seem disappear into a portal until finally Jane is zapped off into another world and gets infected with the Aether. I knew she should get vaccinated before going on trips to other worlds! She comes back and as London’s finest attempt to apprehend her she unintentionally blows every soul around her 40 feet back. Picture a woman with a bad case of PMS, only a 100 fold. No offense at all of you ladies as ironically it’s with all due caution and respect! But, check out Jane’s dark eyes! Been there, done that. And soooo sexy those dark eyes just fyi.

The man of the hour arrives. I literally fist pump (one of many times during the two hours). Gawd, he is one gorgeous looking (any guy wishes admittedly or secretly to look like that) man with a bitching hammer. It’s Thor. His and Jane’s eyes meet after being apart for two years. I get goosebumps.

Thor knows she is infected and whisks her off in his arms on a trans galaxy ride back to Asgard. When they land Jane is beaming from ear to ear and her eyes are glazed over. She needs a cigarette but doesn’t smoke. This place is gorgeous. Picture Lake Geneva a few thousand years from now with the most perfectly architected tall futuristic buildings. Being her usual spunky self she clumsily is introduced to both his dad and mom, Frigga, who is still friggagoodlooking. Thor and Jane share a kiss overlooking the lake which I found very iconic. As in circa two lovers, one with an unpleasant outcome and a certain princess by the name of Leia. I could have taken him just so you know. Darth Vadar has nothing over my ball cap/slipper stealing Golden Retriever.

Phoenix, “Ahem…focus….the post dude….”
Me, “Right! Thanks…I’m on it buddy…”

When Jane was infected by the Aether she has awoken the bad guys. They come to Asgard in invisible ships and virtually level the place. During the battle Frigga is killed. I was furiously wiping away the torrent of tears gushing out of my eyes. Odin and Thor seem more stoic than torn up emotionally. Those kings have tough skin I guess. I want to know where was the Destroyer during all of this? Did Thor permanently destroy him back on Earth two years ago or was he protecting the Casket?

It’s time to enter whom for me is the star of the film. The dastardly, evil adopted son, Loki. He’s been imprisoned forever for his horrible acts on Earth from The Avengers. Prior to Frigga’s death, she and Loki meet in his cell. They are both capable of cloaking and transformation to that of other beings. File that away. Anyhoo, where did she get that ability? A gut wrenching moment that hit home to me in real life when Loki says he rejects Odin as his dad and Frigga says, “Am I not your mother, either?” Loki reaches for her hands seeming to apologize and Frigga’s hands and the rest of her completely dissipates. Loki appears devastated. No, I never rejected my dad but my mom and I had our difficulties. So, it was a very visually powerful, descriptive moment.

Thor needs Loki’s help and they team up. This is getting better by the second as the momentum of the film generates more energy upon itself scene after scene. Loki plays some of his comical transformation tricks turning himself into Captain America (Marvel cue up for the next film) to turning Thor into Sif. It was absolutely frickin’ hysterical. Yet the endgame will be can Thor trust Loki. The latter offers tepid assurance and I’m hopeful but suspect.

Thor, Loki and Jane go against Odin’s wishes and commit treason. They go through a secret portal only Loki knows to battle the bad guys. The goal is two-fold. Rid Jane of the Aether and destroy Malekith. Once there though, my worst fears come to fruition and Loki shanks Thor and hacks off his right arm rendering him useless to call his faithful hammer. I gasp, cringe and squirm. I’m stunned beyond belief. That evil bastard!

But wait!! It’s a clever Loki trick of cloak and deception to fool the bad guys and Thor is just fine! For a couple of minutes. I’m white-knuckling it. Then this Algrim dude (he’s really, really bad ass and seemingly can not be defeated) is about to kill Thor. Loki saves the day and spears Algrim and I give a victorious, “Yes!”…with a fist pump only to see Algrim grab Loki and impale him with the spear as it’s still embedded. Loki dies in Thor’s arms. I’m highly suspect and feel no emotion.

Jane is saved and she and Thor find another portal and arrive back on Earth. A final, epic battle conclusion is about to unfold. There is a Convergence of the Nine Realms occurring at this very moment. Iron Man, Captain America and The Hulk didn’t receive this memo? Not to detract from it being a Thor film but it’s fair to ask, right? And the brilliant scientist, Erik Selvig, holds the answers to the universe and having a solution to the problem (along with Jane’s help)? Well, high-five for us as humans but sheesh.

Btw…Jane and Erik Selvig have an awesome reunion. He’s had a god lingering in his noggin’ since New York and that’s a millinem worse than a migraine. He thinks best with his pants off (oh breathe, his undies are still on) and hugs Jane. I have an overwhelming case of dirty old man envy at that moment.

Present moment emotion (anybody’s including mine) can often neglect a more common sense reflection in hindsight. But, this will be the funniest, most tense, acrobatic, wild conclusion to any action/adventure film I’ve ever seen. That includes The Avengers. All of the portals open up and Thor, the hammer and bad guys, Darcy making out with her intern, all go phasing in and out.

What is a total get me pumped, jacked up with adrenalin feeling is whenever Thor calls for the hammer (Mjolnir). The both of them are phasing in and out of continuous realms just barely missing each other. Like I said it’s as tense yet funny as heck! Finally the bad guys are permanently destroyed. The Aether is put away “safely” in the hands of The Collector (cue up Guardians of the Galaxy) forever. With Thor back on Asgard he informs his father that he wishes to protect the universe but not be king. His heart lies elsewhere. That is a real man.

The credits finish and I wait in silence. I know it’s coming. Jane is sitting at the breakfast table apprehensively wondering if she’s lost her love again since he returned to Asgard. There’s just painful silence. Then a brief sound of thunder far off in the distance. Just typing this the same emotion is overcoming me. Then I hear lightning. A rush of emotion fills my soul and entire body. I hear a thunderous landing outside her door. My eyes well up and I get goosebumps everywhere.

Thor has returned. He and Jane embrace and kiss.

I’m once again wiping away the tears with the sleeve of my shirt.

As we’re walking out to our vehicles Hendrix remarked, “You squirm in your seat like a little girl!”
Me, exhilarated and walking on a cloud, “I know, isn’t it great?”
Him, “Yes it is, Mikey…”

If you like action/adventure and a beautiful love story go see Thor: The Dark World.

This post is dedicated to my beautiful friend, Beth, who inadvertently gave me a swift kick in the ass to get back to being the creative, descriptive writer I’ve always been capable of. Please check out her blog here at Writer B is Me! Thank you, Beth!

Have you seen Thor and, if so, did you like it?

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Mike Vogler

I have been told (many times) that I really need to write a book about my life. The past 40+ years have been an exciting ride, and these days I find myself with a great many passions. However, I feel that this website is a much more personal way with which to share my musings, stories, commentary, and (of course) my greatest love... my Golden Retriever, Phoenix.

  40 Responses to “Thor: The Dark World Movie Review”

  1. Couldn’t agree more – loved this movie!

    Absolutely loved Mjolnir trying to play catch-up with Thor and Malekith.

    I know you were concerned about the critique of too much CGI; it appears that was not a problem for you!!

    • My concern was only biased based on reviews. And how ironic Colin, as I didn’t even give it another thought 30 seconds in to the movie until you mentioned it just now, my friend! 🙂

  2. Great review Mike. I might even have to go see it a third time!

    • Thank you John I really appreciate the compliment! I wanted to turn around and go right back in and watch it another time. But, then I would have needed two more traditional shots of JB 🙂

  3. EPIC review of an EPIC movie! You outdid yourself! I love how you told this story; I felt every ounce of tension and emotion. You’re awesome, Mike! And you honor me by giving me any credit whatsoever for inspiring you. *hugs*

    • My dearest friend, Beth.There have been a few similar to you of writings and posts that have with no intent brought attention my own lack of true creative, descriptive content. It was YOU who spent a considerable amount of your personal email time to smack me back to myself. Like Jane smacking Thor, albeit platonically. I walked out of the movie today and you were the first person I thought of to call. Granted, I didn’t. But, for the first time in what seems like forever I knew an amazing post was forthcoming that I couldn’t wait to come home and write. I’m incredibly grateful for that! Thank you again! 🙂

  4. I think I would actually pay to see it again. Great movie.

    I enjoyed Mjölnir (Thor’s Hammer) flying all over the place trying to get back to its master. You KNOW that thing was getting vertigo from all of the confusion.

    I especially liked seeing the beast from the Jotunheim at the end of the credits – I got a good chuckle out of that.

    • No kidding on the beast still roaming the streets, Chris! Animal Control will have a long night with that one, eh? Awesome description of the vertigo with the hammer! 🙂

  5. I haven’t seen this movie yet but I definitely want to see it now after reading this amazing review. Loved this post.

    • Thank you so much, Freya! What is ironic is that the movie review aside it’s some of the best writing I’ve done in a long time. Soooo proud of that and I’m glad it came across as such to you, our friend 🙂

  6. I, like Hendrix, prefer purchasing my ticket by standing in line. When I saw this movie last Saturday, for the first time, I was so excited I took my change and started in to the theatre only to hear the people at the ticket window yelling at me. Yes, in my haste to get inside, I had left my ticket behind.

    The movie was in a word, awesome, fantastic, bitchin’, spectacular, wonderful, mind-blowing. I know, that’s more than one word…pick your favorite.

    I went again on Sunday, tho time with my daughter. Do you know how hard it was no to tell her anything about the movie for 24 hours? Gaah!

    Samantha and I both enjoyed it. Some of our favorite parts were Loki idly flipping the pages of a book he was reading in his cell as the battle raged just on the other side of the forcefield holding him in, the entire breaking Loki out of prison scene “Shut up Loki!” “Let me guess, you’re going to kill me. Apparently there’s going to be a line.”, and the scenes with Eric Selvig running naked at Stonhenge, using Stan Lee’s shoe, and generally being pantless.

    P.S. I’ve never even heard of the Guardians of the Galaxy prior to the announcement of the film, but with Benicio Del Torro playing The Collector, I’m in.

    • Great comments and reflections, Ed! I’m glad you and Samantha liked it as much as I did. There are so many wonderful parts and I intentionally left a lot out for this very reason so that I could hear other’s favorite memories of the film 🙂

  7. Man, I wish you lived closer than 9 states away from us. Ever since our sons left home, my husband doesn’t have any one with whom to go to movies like this. It’s not that he wouldn’t go alone, but sometimes you need someone to call up (email) and say, “Dude, do you want to go see _________?” With me, he is reduced to seeing historical dramas and chick flicks.

    • I wish we lived closer together also, Suzanne! It would be the best ever to have Dino and Phoenix play together. I would absolutely go to the movies with Steve any time! I like historical dramas and chick flicks too btw 🙂

  8. Great review! Even though I have yet to see any super hero movies that were made in the last 7 years or so, I felt like I just watched one with your review!

    Also giggled with your -Hendrix is often cursed- quip! :0)

    • That is awesome that you liked it and thank you, Tony! Yes, Hendrix puts up with me at the movies and I’m lucky 🙂

  9. I shall go now since you are an AWESOME reviewer, Mike.

    Is your giveaway still going on?

    your site is on my next blog! Xxxxx

    KISSSsssss for Phoenix! WOOOOF.

    • Thank you so very much, Kim! Yes, the contest is still going until Thursday! Phoenix sends kisses back to ya 🙂

  10. I plan to see Thor hopefully soon Mike. Haha! I’m like you and I think poor people who decide to go see a movie with me… I totally enter body and soul into the film but, then, I keep talking and give my opinion about everything that happen in the story!

    • I don’t talk during the movie except for my outbursts of various one word emotional exclamations ha, ha! But, I totally hear ya Rita! It’s so awesome to get fully wrapped up into a film 🙂

  11. I figured I could handle the Spoiler Alert because like Suzanne, I’m more into historical drams and chick flicks a.k.a. romantic comedies. Apparently, you really enjoyed the film. ;o)

  12. You actually have made me rethink this movie. I was only ever going to see it to perv on my fellow Aussie Chris Hemsworth, but who would have thought I might like it….

    • There is a wonderful story to the deep love between Thor and Jane. I don’t blame you one bit for perv’ing on Hemsworth! Our prayers to you for the loss of your beloved toy poodle, Zoe. We are so deeply sorry 🙁

  13. Have not seen the movie yet, but your review is awesome. I’m so tempted to watched it soon :).

    • Oh thank you so much, Agness, and it’s a really good movie! We appreciate the compliment! 🙂

  14. My kids saw the movie and loved it. I haven’t seen it yet but looking forward to it. Great review, Mike. My kids spilled the beans on most of these already 🙂 Have a great week!

    • I’m glad they liked it Mary. There were a ton of kids there and all of them were totally wrapped up in the movie which was great. Thank you so much for the compliment and you guys have a great week too! 🙂

  15. I haven’t seen this movie yet or any of the Thor movies, but your pre-movie swig of whiskey has me cracking up! Too funny, Mike! 😉

    • We usually always go to the late night showing where it’s all adults. So, I guess the guilt came in with all of the kids there, Dana! I’m glad I gave you a laugh 🙂

  16. Yes, you are quite the entertaining writer. Bravo. 🙂 I like the image of you in a movie theatre with a flask, haha!

    • Well, I’m sure trying to improve and get back to being more creative and descriptive in my posts, Colleen! And thank you 🙂 And I would be lost without my traditional two shots pre-movie buzz!

  17. I’ll tell you a secret if you don’t tell anyone else.

    I sleep with Thor. Every night.

    He doesn’t look much like the guy in the movie. But I love the way he holds me, and touches me, and kisses me.

    When we’re introduced to someone new and they remark on his unusual name, my husband says modestly, “I only do the god gig part-time”.

    We haven’t seen the movie since we’re not into the super-hero genre. But you have me wondering if we should make an exception.

    • Wow, you are the envy of millions of women on that one, Alison! Oh, oh, oh….I see now…it’s your husband. Great description of the vibrant affection he has for you…I love it 🙂 And that’s a super intro response he has for inquisitve folks!

  18. I’m looking forward to this one, probably because Chris Hemsworth is melt-in-your-mouth delicious looking. I know it would be wise to see it on the big screen, but with so many movies looming this holiday season I’m not sure if I’ll get to bask in the glory of gigantic Thor in the theater.

    • I will end up watching the majority of all new movies on dvd at home when they come out. But, the superhero movies are a must see on the big screen for me, Jeri. Plus, that’s the one time I get to drink whiskey (albeit on only two shots) 🙂

  19. Haha, another commonality, I also love Natalie Portman in everything she’s ever done!

    Love the pact that you and your friends have to attend all the superhero movies together, brilliant!

    • Excellent on any Portman fans out there! Huge crush here 🙂 The five of us have such an awesome time and go out of our way with our work schedules (shift work) to make it happen, Jess 🙂

  20. Loved the detailed post and of course Thor. We saw it the day it came out. Loved it! Love Loki too. He’s comic relief.

    • Thank you for the compliment, Krystle! I’m glad you guys loved as much as we did and yes Loki absolutely rocked it! 🙂

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