Getting Real And Being Raw

 Posted by on December 9, 2018  Stories  Add comments
Dec 092018

For any of you who are concerned, this train was sitting idle as track transfers were being done many miles away. I did remember this photo from a few months back and I’m using it as a analogy for my lack of blogging since I retired.

As the excerpt states it’s now or likely never. I’ve become worn out with social media as it’s no longer fun for me with no endgame in sight. So, I’m going to take this last chance to address this within myself and to share with you.

It will be an organic process which will be a brand new concept for me. I’ve spent a lifetime choreographing everything to either protect myself and my secrets or to ensure a process with the most positive outcome.

As more of you have to come to know I have anxiety. To be more specific I have battled a diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was a young boy without any professional medical attention or guidance. I changed that 19 months ago of my own free will and that can be addressed in another blog post if I choose to. What has heightened my anxiety with regards to my writing or better yet, not writing, is I imposed a dark cloud on myself.

That proverbial thunderstorm being that you would not enjoy my blog and my non-fiction story telling without Phoenix as my muse.

This is now something I will address head on in writing and social media or I will drop it all and pursue something else to do for the rest of my life.

Have a great week! ๐Ÿ™‚


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Mike Vogler

I have been told (many times) that I really need to write a book about my life. The past 50+ years have been an exciting ride, and these days I find myself with a great many passions. However, I feel that this website is a much more personal way with which to share my musings, stories and commentary.

  43 Responses to “Getting Real And Being Raw”

  1. Thank you for being raw! I can relate to this in many ways and agree 100% with how youโ€™re feeling about social media. Glad youโ€™re staying true to yourself.

  2. Every Journey begins with a single step. This is just one of many you have already taken. Welcome back.

  3. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how well people respond to authentic. We’re all on our own journeys, some bumpier than others. Many of us are relieved to find out we’re not really alone on the ride.
    P.S.: I’m very relieved to learn that train was stopped. I was worried!

    • I know I respond very well to authenticity and it’s going to be just that going forward if this is going to work for me. Haha on the train! ๐Ÿ™‚ I thought of you FIRST when I posted that as to seeing it and your reaction ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Hi Mike; Losing one’s muse is a devastating blow and you should take your time, do whatever feels right to you. That said, your fans are always happy to see something new at “Past My Curfew”. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sometimes, blogging can seem like a real chore and that defeats the purpose. Your comments about social media are completely relatable. I’ve been battling internet fatigue for a long time now. Whatever you decide, I hope you find some peace and joy for the holidays and beyond. Cheers!

    • That is such an awesome comment and you nailed it with “internet fatigue”. Thank you for always being here to support me! I hope you guys have a great week ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I think anyone who has a blog has moments, days, weeks, months, when they want nothing more than to throw their laptop out the window. Now in my 6th year, I speak from experience on that topic. Ha! Ha! It’s amazing my laptop survives my whims.

    But, with that being said, when the words are meant to come they will… or not. If not now, maybe later. Writing can be very cathartic when the timing is in sync with life. Just let life take its course and see where it leads you. If it’s supposed to happen it will.

    • Thank you Patti and I appreciate that so much. A loss for words and not having content is definitely NOT my problem :). It’s the “environment” with no muse that has added to the anxiety and caused a fear. So, this is my attempt to hit it head on to answer the question once and for all within myself! Thank you for always being so supportive! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I like reading your words because I was never good with them when it comes to writing. When I get to read your words it’s so great because I almost feel relieved that someone put into words what I can not. It’s why I miss my Amanda so much. She was an absolute beautiful writer. Anything worth writting about is always real and raw.

    • I understand on missing Amanda and can’t thank you enough for your kind words and support Rebecca! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. I am always delighted to see your posts in my inbox. I completely understand about the burden that social media seems to have become. Early this fall I divested myself of almost all of it and it felt wonderful. Please know that whatever you want to share however you want to share it will be welcome.

  8. Keep writing my friend even if you will be the only person it ever see it. Putting words to paper is therapeutic. I have written so much and never shared with anyone.

  9. We all have to follow our own journey but we canโ€™t let fear stop us. I want to say so much to inspire you, but Iโ€™m unlike you & Iโ€™m not good with putting words together. The writing is still in you, let it fill you. You have many good people behind you, cheering you on. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Hi Mike

    Glad to see you back writing. You write from the heart and even when it may not seem that way, I hear between the words how real you are. Yes, sometimes we never want to share with others all our demons or heartaches, we all have them. Most do a great job of covering them and live behind the front they put up. It is hard to open your soul and let others in. Maybe that is what makes better writers… we are a different breed.

    I have changed paths many times, but am most proudest of the stuff that is vulnerable. I know not to share most of it.

    I keep wondering why I bother writing, but then I just find myself back at the keyboard beating something out. Knowing that it has to remain privately, still does not stop the obsession.

    Always enjoy your writing and your photos are great.

    • Wow, it always makes me smile to see you appear in a comment of a post of mine Mary. We’ve been connected through blogging for an eternity in blogging years! I love how you express yourself and it’s always so very motivational! ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Such a wonderful post. I love how honest you are and I hope you indeed do continue to write! Your writing is wonderful and I hope you can see the joy it had brought to all the people who have already commented! Iโ€™m glad to hear you have been working on ur anxieties, something I still need to do

    • It can be a very tough issue to address and how we accept it and embrace it are some big starting points. It’s so wonderful to hear from you, Samantha! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. We all love your writing and are happy to go on this journey with you!

    Itโ€™s possible that your blogging and writing journey may look different than you imagined. Donโ€™t forget to keep an open mind and write when you feel it.

    Also maybe a weekend retreat? Meditation commitment? Yoga? Just some things that help me.

    • I love your suggestions and all of the incredible private support you’ve given me and the amazingly blessed online friendship I have with the three of you, Brie!

  13. This is so relatable, Mike.. Itโ€™s so hard to see the end game with this blog thing and the sociall media can be ever so draining. As much as it is wonderful to connect with people, itโ€™s also Info overload. One day at a time. One blog post when the mood strikes.

    Phoenix was your beloved pet and quite the character here at Past My Curfew but that doesnโ€™t mean you as a writer, without Phoenix, arenโ€™t equally entertaining, interesting, talented and … more!

    I deleted my Facebook account and felt a weight has been lifted. Still on Insta and Twitter etc. But letting go of Facebook was a step forward for me. Love when you have a new post up Mike. I hope you continue.

    • First, thank you for your AMAZING kind words and you’ve always been right in my corner consistently from day one. And I made a great friend on top of that!

      Ironic you should mention Facebook. I have a FB account but ONLY to be able to have Instagram business account. I have not even up it up in….2-3 years?? There may be a ton of messages….or maybe everyone deleted me…I do not know.

      I do know that it had changed and especially not having my kid I have zero interest in ever pulling it up.

      I may do so one day if I need to fulfill monetizing my blog.

      My loooooong point being…it was a huge weight lifted for me as well ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. I saw your name at Lisa’s site and was relieved to hear from you Mike. I am glad you are trying to wake up your hibernating muse. Some losses are unbearable, social media is tiresome but the glow of words keeps the light within us alive.
    When we write from our heart do those words ring true. Wishing you all the best dear friend.

    • Oh my gosh Balroop how wonderful to hear from you and as always your soothing words of comfort! I so deeply appreciate you visiting and Iโ€™m going to give this my all until I have my answer my dear friend! ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Looking forward to your next writings!! Go for it!

    • Oh my gosh another wonderful friend from the past! ๐Ÿ™‚ Itโ€™s wonderful to hear from you and thank you so much for your encouragement! I hope all is well with you, Patty! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. As you can see, people DO read your blog. You were missed from the very moment you left. People believe in you, love you and support you. Thatโ€™s far more than a lot of other bloggers have!!

    You have a way with words. While I so agree about social media and how itโ€™s changed to the point of not being enjoyable anymore, your blog posts are always anticipated, welcomed and enjoyed!!!

    • p.s., I know it is not the same, but as long as you have memories of Phoenix, you have a muse. Phoenix is the kind of family one will never forget – and one Iโ€™ve never even met. Phoenix grabbed life and enjoyed it so obviously.

    • Nan, you have no idea how much your comments mean to me and thank you for always being in my corner! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Hi Mike, I was glad to see you posting and writing again! I think you were one of the first persons to start following and supporting me when we started our Instagram and blogging accounts! And I thank you for that! I was getting worried there when I did not see much after you retired. I know retirement in itself can be life changing for many! Some go down hill in a lot of areas because they have not developed any outside interests while working. But you have talent and interests that you can now begin to really nurture!! And you now have the time to work on dealing with your anxiety and your muse, Phoenix, who is always there in your heart! You know you commented on a mosaic piece that I posted the other day and said it did not inspire you. A mosaic work of art is achieved by working with pieces of pottery, glass, etc and manipulating the pieces and putting them together into something pleasing to the artist. And then the artist does the same process all over again and produces a new work of art! Different, yet the same and just as beautiful! Sometimes old pieces show up in new art, sometimes it is all new pieces! But, the beauty is that the artist is the same artist and his followers appreciate all the pieces that make up the artist that shines through his work. And throughout it all, the artist continues to learn and grow! And that is how I see you right now. You are the artist working on your next work of art, manipulating the pieces and deciding what to use and not use and how to put them together to be most pleasing and rewarding to you! Many blessings on your journey!!

    • Thank you Rosita and yes Iโ€™m a work in progress on not a new chapter but a whole new life book! I was warned and itโ€™s so important to have a plan to transition into before a person retires. Even if that is to do nothing itโ€™s still a plan. I appreciate your support so very much! Have a great upcoming week…:)

  18. I’m so sorry still for your loss of Phoenix. I miss your words and hope you’ll continue to write, no matter which way it goes. As you know, my love Chief died six years ago and I just could not could not. Until we moved to Colorado, and we found Nugget – it’s such a gift to hear puppy feet running in the house again. I get you with the anxiety – you do what you need to and know I’m here for you, my sweet friend. Always. I’m glad you found a way to the keyboard again – I always look forward to reading your words.

    • I have the biggest smile on my face about Nugget and your description of paws on the floor! ๐Ÿ™‚ Itโ€™s been several years now and I canโ€™t thank you enough for always being right there in my corner, Kristi! I hope you and Tucker have found the best Mac n Cheese in town as I have a standing guy lunch date with him! ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Social media can definitely be a drain sometimes. It’s something I have to work on and only starting using the past few years. It’s quite time consuming. Hope you enjoy working on your blog again…writing is something I love to do too. Have a wonderful week ahead, Mike ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Hey Mike – hopefully the words flow as they will, when the time is right, and for the right reasons. We, your audience, will take what we can get – your posts are honest, insightful and entertaining! Take care of yourself and the “write stuff” will emerge when you’re ready.

    • You have been in that longest, most supportive group since I started blogging Mike! I think I knew you through fantasy sports before blogging! I appreciate you always “being there” for me. And make sure I always have a note from you letting me know when you have new posts up! ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Best of luck! And don’t let social media eat up all your energy, it is so easy to get lost in it.

    • Yes it is and I really appreciate your positive support! It was a great comment to read to start my day Marcus ๐Ÿ™‚

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